I don't think I'm much of a "yeller" . . how many of you have heard me yell? (It doesn't count if we're related.)
I had LOTS of reasons for not wanting to cut the baby's cord right away. I had fully intended to NOT have the cord cut for somewhere around 10 minutes to . .. however long I felt like it.
(Here is just one article about waiting to cut the cord: Wait to cut Umbilical Cord - I'm not here to convince anyone to wait, but that's what I wanted to do.)
I had told our new Doctor that earlier that day and he was fine with it, after talking to him I felt like I could manage to have a somewhat peaceful delivery - pretty opposite of what actually happened.
So the when my Doctor wasn't there when it was time to catch the baby, another OB stepped in and I do appreciate that. I don't blame him for what happened, but I was still ticked!
So he comes in, catches the baby, says "it's a girl!" and IMMEDIATELY CUTS THE CORD!! Didn't even ask, and I realize that most people don't mind and I'm sure he did it out of habit, but I DID mind. There was no handing me the baby so I could nurse her right away, there was no letting me see her first, just CUT! I was so MAD!
When I realized he had cut the cord I said or perhaps more likely I yelled, "You cut the cord? Why did you do that!!?"
He said something like, "She was cold, I had to get her to the warmer."
I was so mad! I know I already said that. Then I say in a very loud voice, "WELL YOU COULD JUST PUT A BLANKET ON HER!" or even better put right on my stomach so I could nurse her, but I didn't think to say that. So that was the most coherent thing I could come up with right then, remember, I didn't have any pain medication (my choice) so I was a little/a lot on edge right then. Then trying to regain my composure and smooth things over I tell him, still probably loudly, "I am not mad at you, but I REALLY did not want you to do that!"
Then he introduces himself. . . I don't remember his name.
Ugh, Traci, I'm sorry that happened! I'm glad you yelled at him. It was good for you to express how you felt, and good for you to write it here too, AND hopefully it will help him be a little more considerate in the future.
ReplyDeleteBut most ob's don't even think about it, it's just one procedure after another and they're so used to what they do, I think some things they just do mechanically sometimes.
Also, it's ridiculous (but not surprising) that his first thought when the baby is cold is that she needs to go to a warmer. You ARE a warmer! A perfect baby warmer made just for that occasion. ALL babies are cold when they come out into the world and need to be kept warm. What do they think people did before those hard, electric-heated baby beds were invented?
Ugh, I'm kind of getting mad just thinking about the ridiculousness of it. But I'm enjoying reading your posts. I hope it is healing for you to write it. I'm sure it is helping others too.
Thank you! I know you know where I'm coming from.
DeleteMaybe he had other concerns too because she was so early...and maybe they hurry and make sure little babies are REALLY doing alright before they hand them over. ?? Nevertheless, that's frustrating.
ReplyDeleteEmily, you are absolutely right. It was one of those crazy, high stress situations. I don't normally yell at people and I don't blame that doctor. I recognize that some of my anger that is coming through in my post is probably part of my grief, too. I've noticed most of my anger has been directed to things that happened at the hospital, but not at any individual. It is an angry post, but the reason I'm writing these things down is to record my truth. It's scary to be so open about it, I don't always know how it will come across, but it is the truth to the best of my recollection, the good, the bad and the angry.
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